Lela and I were both on vacation last week.
She went on a cruise ship, while I ran away to the shore to sell seashells to Sally or however that atrocious tongue twister from my childhood went.
While I was packing… a three day affair for ONE FREAKING SUITCASE, I kept putting things in and taking them back out.
Do I need this sundress? Where would I wear it? If I bring it, I have to bring shorts in case there is a breeze or pervert upskirting.
How many shorts do I need?
Does this shirt look ok with these shorts?
Do these shorts need different underwear so I don’t get PL?
Which bra fits and doesn’t give me under boob sweat in the heat?
We’re going out, which shoes are comfy without looking like orthopedic footwear?
Seriously, this is probably why I spent my highschool years living in boys sweatshirts and old school running shoes. Most males I know just need a couple shirts in similar sizes which normally fit fairly well over cargo shorts or board shorts, pair it with either flip flops or sneakers and possibly a hat and a belt and they’re normally good to go. Everything seems like it’s cut pretty similar on the guys stuff. I feel like with my clothes, I had to try it all on in every possible combination before packing it away and I still underpacked.
This all sounds ridiculous, I know. I’m not even high maintenance!! Lela can vouch for that. It’s probably why it was such an issue for me. I initially wanted to pack nothing but worn jeans and shorts with t-shirt, but I think I was told I needed to bring fancier stuff. And although I’m a girl who owns silks, leathers, pencil skirts and rocking heels, I only wear them in appropriate settings. Like work, graduation, weddings and the occasional fancy party.
- polished at work
Unfortunately, the rest of the time, I’d love to live in soft denim, baggy cotton tees. oversized sweaters and long socks. I like reliable shoes and washable fabrics and not fixing my hair.
- comfy the rest of the time
Anyway, on top of the regular clothing. The bathing suit.. ugh the bathing suit. Most women LOATHE swimsuit shopping. I am certainly not the exception. I am short at the shoulders and long in the torso with wide shoulders and hips… nothing seems to fit right. This year I finally had forked out the money for a “good” bathing suit. For me that meant something that gave my boobs support and covered my ass. Although I must have bought it months ago, the tags were still on it when I went searchng for it. Then comes the trying on again. But here’s the best part about being a girl. The jump test.
Ok, it’s not always a jump test. We bounce, stretch, sit, bend over and essentially just make sure that nothing is falling out where it shouldn’t (unless that is the intent). And we’re not just talking about the girls, but from the back side too. Or back fat, front butt, camel toe, thunder thighs… I dunno. Choose a your misery and shove it in a sausage casing because it’s kind of like that, except I didn’t want to be that girl that LOOKED like I had shoved myself in a sausage casing with little adipose babies oozing over the edges like a Jabba the Hutt double. Hence, the jump test.
Sent: Wednesday, June 20, 2012 7:51 PM
How about having to be hairless from under both arms, from ankle to ankle and that stupid area between the thigh and groin.
From: Lela Sent: Wednesday, June 20, 2012 8:01 PM To: mickey
What about unplanned periods.
Sometimes people aren’t staring at you because you look cute. Sometimes you get a really bad period mid flight and have no idea.
Sometimes you have a giant stain in the back of your pants and you don’t realize it until half of puerto Rico has seen you.
I wore jeans! What you’re supposed to wear on vacation. Next time black pants.
On Jun 20, 2012, at 8:18 PM, mickey < wrote:
From: Lela Sent: Wednesday, June 20, 2012 8:23 PM To: mickey
They still make those?
On Jun 20, 2012, at 8:25 PM, mickey < wrote:
Aren’t the 90’s back?
ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SUNSCREEN!!!