For Deedee’s 30th birthday

 In honor of your upcoming 30th, here are 30 apologies you always wanted to hear from me.

I’m sorry I was mean to you sometimes growing up. And yesterday.

 

I’m sorry I am jealous of your weight. You work hard for it, not everyone has what it takes to go to the bathroom 17 times a day.

I’m sorry that I am so much better looking than you.

I’m really really sorry that you’re so much skinnier than me.

I’m sorry I punched you in the face once for saying hi to me in the morning. But really, NO ONE is THAT happy at 4:45 am EST.

I’m sorry that I told mommy and daddy spying on them was your idea.

And I’m sorry that you don’t remember the a$$ whoopin after. I remember. It was great.

I’m sorry I choked you for taking my Menudo tape and calling me Miss Piggy. That one was hard to write as I still feel pretty justified in my actions.

I’m sorry that you have man hands. In some cultures really large hands on women is considered a rare mark of beauty.

I’m sorry we don’t live in one of those cultures.

I’m sorry that I say you’re from Juarez, and that we found you by the Rio Grande.

We found you IN the Rio Grande.

I’m sorry that I said we found Ricky there a year later. Your real family’s situation is none of my business.

I’m sorry that I’m mommy and daddy’s favorite.

I’m sorry that I just told you I’m mommy and daddy’s favorite.

I’m sorry I lied about that. We all know Ricky is the favorite.

I’m sorry that I didn’t want to hang out with you in high school.

I’m sorry that I don’t want to hang out with you now.

I’m sorry that I called your fiance Chip, Skip or Brad for a year.

I’m sorry for the pet tarantula I am going to buy and release into your bedroom one night. Or bathroom since you are there so often.

1. http://makeshiftfort.tumblr.com/

I’m sorry that my daughter told her entire school you were late because you were taking a shit.

I’m sorry that people think your Indian, Poonja.

I’m sorry that I like to embarrass you in front of strangers. By holding your hand or saying something like “I really hope your mother likes me.” or “Last night was amazing.”

I’m sorry that I stole your superman shirt and your red Nike shirt.

I’m sorry you’re never getting them back.

I’m sorry that its cold there in my shadow.

I’m sorry I used to sing the Freddy song to you at night.

1. 

   http://cenobites-.tumblr.com/

I’m sorry that I sometimes call you Maria in public, so people think you are my nanny.

I’m sorry I sent you a picture of my boob. On purpose.

I’m sorry that I make fun of your Bert and Ernie eyebrows. A real sister would pluck em for you but I dunno where to start.

I’m sorry that I used to draw pictures of you and emphasize your scar, nose, birth mark and giant lips. I’m sorry that I’m drawing another picture and scanning it onto FB.

I’m sorry you don’t have an ass.

I’m really sorry that I don’t either.

I’m sorry that I tell people I am nice to you because the Make a Wish Foundation told me to.

But I am motsly sorry that I am not a kabillionaire who can buy you whatever you want for your birthday, because you deserve it! You are one of the greatest people I have ever met, and you deserve every happiness! I love you very much and I thank God you are my sister. Thanks for putting up with me for 30 glorious years!

Worst “The Hunger Games” Movie Reaction Post Ever

From: Mickey
Sent: Thursday, March 22, 2012 4:41 PM
To: Lela
I think next week we should do Hunger Games movie reaction?

From: Mickey
Sent: Monday, March 26, 2012 10:33 AM
To: Lela

I saw it

Have you seen it?

From: Lela
Sent: Monday, March 26, 2012 10:38 AM
To: Mickey

No. 😦

 

From: Mickey
Sent: Monday, March 26, 2012 10:48 AM
To: Lela

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    When?

From: Lela
Sent: Monday, March 26, 2012 10:58 AM
To: Mickey

I got sick and kept having dizzy spells. But I did watch more Doctor Who. 

From: Mickey
Sent: Monday, March 26, 2012 12:50 PM
To: Lela
Subject: Katniss’s weight an issue?

http://www.themarysue.com/hunger-games-successful-female-film/

Jennifer Lawrence’s weight was complained about??

From: Lela
Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2012 9:18 AM
To: Mickey
Subject: I FINALLY SAW IT

I FRICKIN LOVED IT!!!!

SPOILERS!

**MINOR SPOILERS**

 From: Mickey
Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2012 9:30 AM
To: Lela

Ok, which parts?? I LOVED the additional scenes!  I loved Seneca Crane.  The riot in eleven, that choked me up more than Rue, probably because I didn’t expect it.

From: Lela
Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2012 10:43 AM
To: Mickey

So, I cried at the Reaping, I cried saying bye to Prim.  I cried when Rue died, I cried with riot in 11…  I cried.  A lot. I pretty much left that theatre looking like I was in a fight, hair was all messed up because my ass kept falling asleep so I would have to move and adjust, black lines down my face from makeup.  HOT MESS.

I love how they showed the control room in the Capitol. I think they did a good job with the mutts (I was worried about that).  I have a question was the part of Peeta throwing the big metal ball in the book?  I didn’t remember that at all.

PS  Even though I am warming up to Peeta, I am still Team Gale.

the real trio

From: Mickey
Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2012 10:46 AM
To: Lela

Pshhh how could you not be team gale?

I expected to cry more and did not.  Maybe because I was bracing myself for it.

I loved seeing the control room.

From: Lela
Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2012 10:45 AM
To: Mickey

umm…

WTF?

 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/26/hunger-games-racist-tweets-rue_n_1380377.html?ref=topbar

RUE

From: Mickey
Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2012 10:46 AM
To: Lela

Yea… people didn’t actually READ and ASSUMED that she looked like Prim because she reminded Katniss of her sister.

Remind and LOOK LIKE read differently, they also do not mean the same things.

But you know what they say about assuming…

From: Lela
Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2012 10:55 AM
To: Mickey

…makes a racist out of you and me? 

From: Mickey
Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2012 10:56 AM
To: Lela

Well I guess that’s how the saying went.

She never talks about races so it’s all inferred, but that far into the future, I’m sure people have other things to worry about.  Plus, if you’re district is cut off from other districts, much less the rest of the world… what’s your field of reference?

After reading the books a few times, I wondered if Betee and Wiress had Asian blood by the way they were described though.

 From: Lela
Sent: Friday, March 30, 2012 1:33 PM
To: Mickey

LMFAO 

“Finnick is incredibly handsome. Really, he’s practically a joke of physical perfection — in Catching Fire, Collins describes him as a muscular, tan, bronze-haired dude with sea green eyes. So he’s either a merman or an Australian. But unlike Australians, Finnick’s beauty masks a bleak inner life: After winning his Hunger Games, he makes a life for himself as a high-class prostitute in the Capitol. It’s a tricky doucheboat-with-a-heart-of-gold role, requiring an actor who can be threatening, but also melancholy, but who can also pull off Finnick’s Caligula-worthy “Golden Net” outfit, which seems destined to test Catching Fire‘s PG-13 rating more than any kid-killing montage.

In Catching Fire, Finnick is about 24. But since the teenage Katniss and Peeta are played by Jennifer Lawrence (21) and Josh Hutcherson (19), it seems likely that Lionsgate would be willing to stretch the age range into the late ’20s or early ’30s. It seems to me that there’s one actor in Hollywood that’d be perfect for the role…but unfortunately, Chris Hemsworth happens to be the older brother of Liam, and it’s a well-known fact that the space-time continuum will implode if two Hemsworths appear in the same movie together.”

popwatch.ew.com/2012/03/26/hunger-games-finnick-catching-fire/

Armie Hammer

From: Mickey
Sent: Friday, March 30, 2012 1:39 PM
To: Lela

There’s a campaign for Armie Hammer, the prince from Mirror Mirror.

www.facebook.com/ArmieForFinnick

http://armiehammerforfinnickodair.tumblr.com/post/20296309778/catopeetagirl-armie-hammer-as-finnick-odair

From: Lela
Sent: Friday, March 30, 2012 1:58 PM
To: Mickey

Meh.  He also looks too nice.  Finnick, to me has an asshole hottie face. lol Not a pretty face, if that makes sense.

  

From: Mickey
To: Lela
Sent: Friday, March 30, 2012 1:59 PM

Wasn’t he an ass in the social network?

 

 From: Lela
Sent: Friday, March 30, 2012 2:11 PM
To: Mickey

Yeah, I didn’t see that. Maybe he plays a good asshole?

You know who was meant for Finnick, but acted 20 years too early?  William Zabka.  Aka Johnny from Karate kid… although maybe he’s not pretty enough…

From: Mickey
Sent: Friday, March 30, 2012 2:15 PM
To: Lela

Or this guy back when:

http://pinterest.com/pin/36380709459797798/

But, I think it won’t matter?

It will be an Rpattz thing all over again, a Jhutcherson and Jlawrence thing

Everything will think they are all wrong for the part.

And after professional grooming, tanning and colored contacts and a personal trainer everyone will drool over him and say he was only the perfect choice…

But as long as he CAN ACT, I think most people will be happy.

The rest is all trickery.

From: Mickey
Sent: Friday, March 30, 2012 2:46 PM
To: Lela

Fun fact: Stephanie Meyers pictured Henry Cavil when writing about Edward Cullen.

 

From: Mickey
To: Lela
Sent: Tuesday, April 3, 2012 8:38 AM

Posting ideas:  list of movies that make you cry?

 From: Lela
Sent: Tuesday, April 03, 2012 9:29 AM
To: Mickey 

Easier.  How about a list that does not make me cry? 

 

From: Mickey
To: Lela
Sent: Tuesday, April 3, 2012 9:34 AM

I wanted to post about the movie.

From: Lela
Sent: Tuesday, April 03, 2012 9:36 AM
To: Mickey 

Doesn’t Hunger Games get its own post?

 

From: Mickey
To: Lela
Sent: Tuesday, April 3, 2012 9:37 AM

Would it be long enough? Do you want to write up something really long about the movie?

I think I wrote a really long one a while ago about the books themselves?

It was just going to be an aside how there were parts of the books I cried at more than the movie and different parts of the movie affected me.

From: Lela
Sent: Tuesday, April 03, 2012 9:45 AM
To: Mickey
I think it could be long enough, especially if you add pictures?  You can also add the fan videos.  The Rue and Katniss one from Mainstay Productions made me cry more than the movie. 

Rue and Katniss – Mainstay Productions

 From: Lela
Sent: Monday, April 16, 2012 9:57 AM
To: Mickey
Subject: Cabin in the Woods

 WAS OUTSTANDING!

From: Mickey
Sent: Monday, April 16, 2012 4:55 PM
To: Lela
Subject: RE: cabin in the woods

…. we never did write anything up for THG

From: Lela

Sent: Monday, April 16, 2012 4:59 PM

To: Mickey

OMG we didn’t. Ok. Start it off.

From: Mickey
Sent: Monday, April 16, 2012 6:44 PM
To: Lela
Subject: RE: cabin in the woods

….

What do I even say that hasn’t already been said?

……   TO THE INTERNET!

TO THE INTERNET!

I’m just directing to various other blogs and websites that wrote up well reactions:

http://mockingjay.net/2012/03/23/the-hunger-games-movie-reaction-post-what-did-you-think/

http://victorsvillage.com/2012/03/24/reaction-the-hunger-games-movie/

www.themarysue.com/hunger–games-successful-female-film/

http://io9.com/5895771/the-hunger-games-will-ruin-you

“strongest female performance in an action film since Sigourney Weaver in Alien, and this has got to be one of the biggest reasons for the success.” http://whatculture.com/film/6-reasons-why-the-hunger-games-has-made-500-million.php

Ripley – BAMF

www.chrisdevlinwrites.com/blog/?p=3646

www.andmagazine.com/content/phoenix/12154.html